My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
