Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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