C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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