We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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