no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
