So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
