You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i would punch a child for taco bell
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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