I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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