Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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