This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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