hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
