Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
