Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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