tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
