So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
