If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
