my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
