He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
