Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
