these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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