Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
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She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
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The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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