I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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