just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
