My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
