Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
