I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
