you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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