Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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