Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
