Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
