you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dicks are not precious.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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