you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
