of course. lets lasso hookers.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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