i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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