so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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