I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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