i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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