You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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