I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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