Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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