He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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