I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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