so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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