apparently the secret to your success is patron
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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