haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
