This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
