Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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