I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You left your phone here
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