Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
