hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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