I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
