its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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