no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
